Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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