Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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