no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
