Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
