Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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