How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
