Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
