Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Who wears a wallet chain?!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
