Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
