Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
