STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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