I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
