Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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