you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You need a sexual gate keeper
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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