dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize