ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
