That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
either way he was missing a nipple.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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