He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
