I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
