You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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