just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
