I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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