Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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