I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize