we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
