Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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