That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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