If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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