He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
