I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
