ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
