i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
