My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
