Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
