Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
