will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
