Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
