Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Randomize
