I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
