Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
