Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
