you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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