Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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