We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
