Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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