in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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