I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My ass is underappreciated
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
