I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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