Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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