Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
