there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
