i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
