"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
where does the pee come out of this thing
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
