got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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