I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
