i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
