on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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