She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
