His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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