She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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