let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
