She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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