Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize