oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
