he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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