No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
