Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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