I puked a lego.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
